Contact us
Jewish Thinking

Jewish Thinking

What Does the Word "Shidduch" Imply?

Published on Thursday December 24th, 2020

Marriage isn’t simply a simple desire or an inclination in man and woman, it is a real need, inscribed deeply inside both. This natural necessity is materialized by a feeling of "lack". By marrying, we fill this gap.

When trying to understand the nature of this shortcoming, we will reveal one of the most beautiful aspects of marriage.

The Ramban quotes the verse from Bereshit (2: 24): "... ודבק באשתו והיו לבשר אחד". According to the literal translation, this means that a man must "become attached to his wife and become one flesh".

What is the meaning of the notion "They will become one flesh"?

The Ramban explains that at the time of the creation of the first "Human Being" (Adam Harishon), man and woman were made of the "same flesh"; they were completely connected. Hashem then took "one side" of Adam to create “Chava”. Thus, He separated them, forming two distinct entities.

Man and woman are born separate from each other, and they feel in a natural way the need to meet again. Marriage is, therefore, the means to be able to recreate this bond, the closeness that existed during the creation, each finding the missing part of his own being.

This lesson helps us understand the meaning of the word Shidduch.

We know that the etymological study of a word helps us to understand its meaning.

The Ran reports that the word Shidduch has its origin in the Aramaic language and includes the idea of ​​serenity.

We also find in the Babylonian Talmud in the Shabbat and Baba Metsia Treaties other meanings of the word Shidduch which are: mixture (ערבוב) and bond (קישור).
So we have three meanings for the word Shidduch which are: serenity, mixture and connection. How do we reunite these three senses? The word Shidduch has, in fact, three meanings, all of which have internalised the idea developed by the Ramban, i.e with marriage, man and woman arrive at a "mixture", a notion of "unique flesh" created by the "bond" that unites them. Having found their Zivug, that is to say, "the soul mate", they can arrive at the "serenity" of their beings.

The period of Shidduchim is significant in our life because it is the one where we will search for "our second half".

Marriage will be the beginning of working together, a shared construction aiming for spiritual harmony (shlemut).

It is told that one day, Rav Aryeh Levine accompanied his wife, who was suffering from her foot, to the doctor. Rav Levine exclaimed: "Doctor, our foot is in pain!”

Rav Nathan SHAFIR - © Torah-Box Account

To access the entire website, sign up for free in less than a minute.

Weekly Parsha


Candle Lighting Candle Lighting - New York

Friday April 19th, 2024 at 19:22 *
Shabbat ends at 20:25 *
change my location
* Times given as an indication, check the times of your community

Upcoming Holiday

Scroll to top